text @PAPYRUS - New Years

[spaghettimonster]

HAPPY 1962!!!

IT'S HARD TO CALL THIS A NEW YEAR... SINCE THIS SEEMS LIKE THE PAST TO ME.

BUT DECEMBER IS OVER! AND IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S SUDDENLY FEBRUARY.

HOW ABOUT.

HAPPY NEW OLD YEAR!!!

[But don't be fooled - it's the start of 1961! Despite Papyrus optimistically posting this at midnight on the dot, everything from the TV countdown to physical calendars to outstanding bills says otherwise.]

Comments

@okuyasu, text

[righthandstand]

this is the saddest old year celebration I've been to

isn't there supposed to be some kind of event for the town?

[spaghettimonster]

I BET THERE IS.
IT SEEMS LIKE A BIG PARTY EVENT IN BIG CITIES.
BUT I HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT ONE YET.
GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT.

BY THE WAY. HAVE YOU BEEN TO MANY OLD YEAR CELEBRATIONS BEFORE??

[If Okuyasu has experience with whatever mysterious time distortion is happening to his television and calendar, Papyrus wants him to share.]

[righthandstand]

nah just new year celebrations

but we'd at least go to the temple or go somewhere fun even if we were busy [At least they weren't staying in whatever temporary house they were living in at the time.]

I miss cities

[spaghettimonster]

I SEE, I SEE...
AND THIS ISN'T CITY ENOUGH TO CITYSFY.

[The attempt at a pun for levity's sake is rough in English, and likely falls apart entirely in translation, but he makes it anyway. Maybe Sans'll see it and laugh. He could use a laugh himself.]

[righthandstand]

[Okuyasu stars at the text for a moment.]

what

[spaghettimonster]

YEAH, IGNORE THAT!

[Just as well he didn't make it in person, puns so forced they bring the conversation to a halt... that's his brother's territory. Papyrus shakes it off and rallies.]

I MEAN, THIS CITY ISN'T SATISFYING, IN ITS CELEBRATION QUANTITY. OR QUALITY.

[righthandstand]

yeah
it sucks

like christmas

[spaghettimonster]

HUH? LIKE CHRISTMAS?
HOW DO YOU MEAN?

[righthandstand]

the whole thing was shitty with the reindeer and snowmen, duh

nothing about that month was fun at all

[spaghettimonster]

OKAY, YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT. THOSE PARTS WERE AWFUL.
BUT PUTTING UP DECORATIONS...

[Well, it was mostly fun when he and Sans kept escalating the light show between their yards. What was blowing a few fuses in the name of competition. But then the lights got in his head, and all he could think about was Christmas festivities...]

ACTUALLY, YOU'RE RIGHT COMPLETELY!!
IT WAS AN UNFUN MONTH. GOOD RIDDANCE.

[righthandstand]

fuck Christmas!

and whatever other holidays they got here

actually i hope they don't ruin valentines day
we can keep that one

[spaghettimonster]

I THOUGHT I LIKED HALLOWEEN, WITH ALL THOSE COSTUMES.
BUT THE HHA REALLY NEEDS TO LIGHTEN UP.

[Honestly, who sends wet zombie children to attack whoever doesn't have enough jack-o-lanterns? They could have at least used cooler costumes when attacking.]

VALENTINE'S DAY...
WHICH ONE IS THAT?

[righthandstand]

the one where girls give you chocolate if they like you
or if they give it to all the boys
it's the best holiday for getting a girlfriend

do don't have it in your country?

[spaghettimonster]

A CHOCOLATE EXCHANGE HOLIDAY, YOU SAY...
I THINK I RECALL SOMETHING LIKE THAT, IN SCHOOL.
ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!

[It was not very many years ago. But in those most hormonally relevant years, if hormones are a word that applies to skeletons, he hadn't been the most pleasant or grateful of teenagers. The gifts for all seemed impersonal, too much so for him to really appreciate. What a fool young Papyrus had been... but at least a fool with the potential to be adult Papyrus.]

[righthandstand]

[So this guy can't be from America or Japan. Interesting.

And now he has Okuyasu curious.]

oh

so where are you from anyway

[spaghettimonster]

[Part of Papyrus regrets handling this conversation alone. Some of Sans's ideas for lies are clever, but mostly he's better at shutting down topics by completely distracting people. He'll have to go with deflection and half-truths, and pretend to fall asleep if it goes too far.]

OH, A LITTLE TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
FAR FROM ANY BIG CITIES... WE PRACTICALLY LIVED UNDER A ROCK.

[They very literally lived under a rock, inside a mountain.]

IT'S EXCITING, LIVING WITH SO MANY NEIGHBORS!!

[righthandstand]

[God, he lives somewhere so remote he never heard of Valentine's day? Like, in the middle of Asia? An island?]

sounds boring
not that small towns suck
but I grew up in Tokyo so big cities are normal for me

this is a pretty empty place to live

[spaghettimonster]

WE LEARNED TO MAKE OUR OWN FUN.
PLUS WE HAD COMPUTERS AND THE WEB, THAT HELPED.

BUT THERE'S A LOT TO DO HERE.
SO MANY BUSINESSES TO SHOP IN! SO MANY ROADS TO GO DRIVING ON!!!
IT'S IMPORTANT, TO SAVOR THESE THINGS.

[righthandstand]

hold up you had access to the web

I thought you lived in the middle of nowhere

[The internet isn't ubiquitous when he's from!!]

[spaghettimonster]

[Whoops. Good thing this is text, he can make all the alarmed faces he likes with no one the wiser!]

THAT'S WHAT I SAID. AND WHAT I MEANT.
BUT I UNDERSTAND YOUR CONFUSION! SAYING THE WEB... IT COULD ONLY HAVE MISLED YOU.
I'M ALMOST EMBARRASSED TO SPELL IT OUT...

IT WAS A SMALL, LOCAL WEB.
I BET I'VE NEVER HEARD OF THE WEBSITES YOU USE.

[Between the lack of access to the surface, being from years apart, and whatever other differences monsters came up with in their dissection and reconstruction of human technology.]

[righthandstand]

[Okuyasu's heard of this...the Internet was started as a government thing, and then a university thing. Only recently did libraries and high schools start having research computers. Of course they could have local shared data.

But then that must mean...]

were you part of a government experiment

[spaghettimonster]

[Whatever Papyrus expected to be asked next, that wasn't it. This is so far from his expectations that it breaks some of his nervousness, and while he could pursue that with some weird questions for Okuyasu, he instead goes with:]

HEY, I CAN'T EITHER CONFIRM OR DENY THAT.

[righthandstand]

[Okuyasu assumes it's a "yes".]

you're not gonna have to kill me if you give me more info right

[spaghettimonster]

HMM... IT MAY BE BEST, IF I DON'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

[This is exactly the kind of ridiculous cover story he needed to hint at. Sans is even better at threatening cryptic language than he is, and will surely back it up... And Papyrus has very stylish, special agenty shades. The perfect disguise.]