chatsville | text; @crowley

yeah, good point. and the people on top usually aren't that talkative

( not without a little inspiration. or if they needed to monologue after victory seemed certain, but that's not gonna help in this instance. )

That's how they end up on top, generally

probably had something to do with it, sure.

( he could conspire and scheme a bit more, that there has to be a trail of breadcrumbs somewhere, that sooner or later they'll get a hint and then they can start figuring out what the hell is going on here...

but knowing there's likely limited privacy on these things, Peter doesn't say any of that.

instead, he just says, )

glad you warmed up okay.
if you need anything, like groceries or whatever, with your leg like that, just let me know

That's sweet of you, but I'm alright. Hardly the worst I've had to deal with, and my husband isn't entirely useless

[He isn't at all useless, and also he doesn't know about the injury, so Crowley isn't about to admit he needs help with anything.]

that's ... like the husband they gave you when you got here, or...

( it's cool if he just has a really great relationship with the guy he was suddenly shacked up with, it's just, Peter hasn't heard anyone refer to that so casually before. )

[The good thing about texting is that he can explain this without getting flustered.]

Ah, sort of. We know each other. Knew each other, back home. We're old friends, not married, though. That's been an adjustment.

[Well, that wasn't too terrible.]

( without getting flustered, huh? good to know... )

i didn't know it was even possible to show here with somebody you knew
that's nice. i mean, being fake married has to be kinda weird, but not as weird as being fake married to a stranger. or the fake son of a stranger.

There's two blokes here who know each other from home, but they're not married, what with both being men.

[The same could be said for he and Aziraphale, depending on how people have read him, but he doesn't quite think about it that way.]

I will admit to being relieved I'm not married to a stranger. Or responsible for some kid. No offense.

none taken. i wouldn't want to look after me either

( look how gray his parental figures are. parenting peter parker is a less than ideal task. )

I dunno, you seem an alright kid, but I've already one back home to deal with and he's handful enough.

( just wait until he shows up with broken eggs and an even more broken face, Crowley, you'd be surprised how much of a problem he can be! )

oh, you've got a kid?
i'm sorry. has to be hard to be here without them. but i guess it's better to not have kids here.

[Can't be worse than trying to raise the Antichrist.]

Ah, I'm his nanny, actually, but you're right about it being better he's not here. This isn't a place for children, especially not ones under 10.

( he's definitely at least a little worse than raising a fake antichrist though. )

oh. i wouldn't have guessed you're a nanny.

( might be from the handing off beers to a teenager thing. but that's cool!! )

seems like not too many younger people ended up stuck here, at least. hopefully it stays that way

[At least he's sensible enough not to start a food fight. Maybe.]

What, I don't strike you as the soft and nurturing type?

[Or maybe it was the beer thing.]

Not a lot of us ended up here at all. Seems an odd collection of people, though

( honestly, no, definitely not. he for sure would. it's a great distraction!!! )

uh, not really, but that doesn't mean you can't be a great nanny, right?
my uncle was sort of a grumbly tough guy and he was great.

it is a weird mix, right? i wonder if there's some common feature. a reason they chose us.

[Well then he's definitely as bad as the fake Antichrist.]

You'd have to ask the boy whether I do an alright job of it, but he hasn't had any complaints so far.

Could be some similarity between us all, but it strikes me as unlikely. There are all sorts of folks here and I have little in common with most of them.

you've kinda got a cool uncle vibe going on, so, i bet his yelp review would be largely positive

there's got to be a reason we were all grabbed though, right? if not some commonality, it has to be something

[Caught between being touched by that and thinking it's gross that anyone would consider him soft enough to be an uncle.

So he's just going to not fully address it.]

Yelp reviews written entirely by seven year old children is a brilliant idea, actually.

Likely we all just have shit luck. Unless you've some very exciting secret you're keeping from the class that makes you special.

haha right? get those suburban white moms outta there, what does little timmy have to say about this establishment? kids tell you how it is, i bet it'd have some meaningful commentary

( making jokes about yelp is WAY easier than trying to skirt around the slightly knowing inquiry about whether he's special. )

um, nothing that seems likely to be the all encompassing commonality that got us all stuck here, anyway

( that is kinda an inadvertent "yup" on the secret thing, isn't it? whoops. )

Who gives a shit whether the food is good, I'd like to know what colour crayons a place has.

[This is....... a deeply stupid conversation.]

Back to square one, then. Maybe we ought to do a survey.

( welcome to conversations with Peter Parker. they're either earbleedingly stupid OR so ridiculously scientific, good luck trying to follow. and the earbleeding stupid can sneak into the science. )

i know you're being sarcastic but it'd probably be good information
if we could count on people to answer the survey reliably, and we definitely can't

( hell, he wouldn't even answer his own survey honestly, so how can he expect it from anyone else? )

You really think people would do that? Just go on the internet and tell lies?

[Quoting memes that he doesn't even know the origin of is CLEARLY a good use of their time here.

Also he knows this isn't really the internet but hey, it's close enough.]

lies on the internet? it's more likely than you think

( he's a millennial, Crowley, DoNT DARe PReSuME he can't meme you into the ground )

It's bloody tragic these things can't handle images, I'm sure there's a gif for the situation we've found ourselves in

you know that one dog sitting in a room on fire? just imagine that one.

( it's not quite as good as linking the actual image, but the spirit is there. )

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